To feel again.

     I can feel the music rising through my skin every plie to an allegro. My arms moving slowly and smooth, every movement coming together like notes, my pirouettes perfected, I start over when I mess up, I push myself harder to be better. Spot, turn, and land, broken ankles broken toes, all for the language of dance. You study the art of it, but never perfect it.
     Another move learned every day, work harder, push and don't stop. Tone your body, strength; the key of balance, concentration. I'll take it all, I want it back. Every attitude and extension. The high I get when I'm finished. Every sweat worth the work put in, every pain I get worth the work. To feel like that again, I would do anything. To feel that emotion when the music hits and I take that first step. The notes flowing in and out while you remember the next step so effortlessly.

     Working in my shoes till they're just right. Laughing when I messed up, crying b/c I want it right so bad. Becoming flexible. Working on the bar and lifting my leg higher, pointing my foot harder. To be passionate again for it, to let every movement be gentle and swift, to never let that touch of the gift to dance. It's nothing like anyone sees it. Ballet is a language within it's self with demi-plies, fondues, lifts, chasses, changments, etc.. The way I train myself to be that flawless in steps. They, the world, who see me as just clumsy, doesn't know I can perfect my movements, feel the music, build my strength and dance effortlessly to notes.

    

I just want to have it back <3