Goodbye

I will always care, always love you and always cherish what we had.

Pushed Out

They wonder why I am so bitter to them, why I close my door and lock them out of my life. You criticize me and I'm sick of it so this is me pushing you out.

Leave me alone. You've done nothing more than hurt me.

Forgetting you the hard way

I use to laugh it was like you were the air i breathed for the longest time that when you left I forgot how to breath how to take it all in and let it all back out like my chest couldn't lift the weight because something had collapsed. I'm not going to say that I'm over you because I'm not. No, not all and I'm ashamed. I'm ashamed because you were the one I leaned on, counted on and I had no idea that I was letting you down..and I guess I would have never known especially because you never told me. I thought about the future with you. I thought about growing old and smiling up at you when you said 'I do.' You told me no future. I chased after you over and over..and not once did I feel you cared praying that maybe you'd come back maybe if I just leave him alone for so long he would come back tell me how much he missed me how sorry he was..but all that came my way was a boy who took every inch of my heart and threw it to the dogs watching them rip it apart you held on to me tightly until that kiss, that sweet touch and embrace drowned out the hurt took me and held me for a minute and than it was back again but ten times worse. Dropping me off never hearing from you again. I laid in bed wondering if I had meant ANYTHING to you and everything told myself you didn't so it was easier for me to hate you easier for me to try and get back. I felt like I was almost looking through this window watching myself stumbling and all I could do was tell myself it was okay to tell myself to get the fuck up and stop crying and finally I hat enough and broke the window grabbing my hair and shoving my face into the dirt. "You're nothing more than dirt" it felt like a damn dream. Like eventually it would end some days holding myself in walking around feeling alone to just feeling music and nothing mattered our year turned into you fucking everything and anything that was in your path. I think I get it now and it's hard forgetting you. So I'm telling you I love you but I hate you. I hate you because it's easier that way. I guess its just forgetting you the hard way.